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Why I fired my secretary

Two weeks ago, was my forty-fifth birthday, and I wasn't
feeling too hot that morning anyway. I went into breakfast,
knowing my wife would be pleasant and say "Happy Birthday,"
and probably have a present for me.

She didn't even say "Good Morning," let alone any "Happy
Birthday." I thought, "Well, that's wives for you. The
children will remember." The children came in to breakfast
and didn't say a word.

When I started to the office I was feeling pretty low and
despondent. As I walked into my office, my secretary,
Janet said, "Good Morning, Boss, Happy Birthday."
And I felt a little better; someone had remembered.
I worked until noon.

About noon, Janet knocked on my door and said, "You
know, it's such a beautiful day outside and it's your birthday,
let's go to lunch, just you and me."

I said, "By George, that's the greatest thing
I've heard all day. Let's go."

We went to lunch. We didn't go where we normally go; we
went out into the country to a little private place. We had
two martinis and enjoyed lunch tremendously.

On the way back to the office, she said, "You know, it's such
a beautiful day. We don't need to go back to the office, do we?"

I said, "No, I guess not."

She said, "Let's go to my apartment."

After arriving at her apartment, we had another martini
and smoked a cigarette and she said, "Boss, if you don't
mind, I think I'll go into the bedroom and slip into something
more comfortable."

"Sure," I excitedly replied.

She went into the bedroom and, in about six minutes, she
came out...carrying a big birthday cake, followed by my
wife, children, and dozens of our friends.

All were singing Happy Birthday.

.. and there on the couch I sat...

.. with nothing on but my socks......

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